ANTS!!!

We have ants! And I have no idea where they came from!

What exactly attracts ants? Where do they come from? Why do we have them??? At the moment, I have no idea and I haven’t exactly had a chance to hit up Google for the answer. What I do know is that we came home this evening to find a swarm of ants in our pantry. In our pantry AHHHH!! It looked as though the peanut butter was the culprit, but I can’t really be certain – I was in the car and on my want to get something to deal with this before Jess was finished screaming. Of course I didn’t just buy some ant traps. Oh no, I got 2 different Raid Colony Killer® ant traps, Raid “Kills On Contact®” Liquid Spray (let me tell you, it most certainly does), and the mother of all killers – The Raid Fumigator®. It’s basically a small metal smoke grenade that devastates all insect life within a 30 foot radius… Just pull the tab, toss and run.

While I didn’t need to drop the bomb, I think I emptied half the can of Liquid Spray in the kitchen, and the rest down in our bathroom. I’m not sure where they originated, but the ants were congregating around the PB and were walking in a nice line down the wall and emerging down in our bathroom. Regardless of their destination, they’re all dead. The area throughly sprayed, the carcasses removed, and traps placed to catch the survivors. If need be, I’ve got the Fumigators® ready for deployment. There will be no prisoners of war.

Now, before you get the wrong idea – Jess and I aren’t dirty people, and it’s quite upsetting that this has happened. Sure, we may leave some clothes on the floor (that may be me), or the dishes on the counter overnight (umm, me again), but the majority of the time our house is clean (that’s Jess). The sheets are changed every 2 weeks, the kitchen is cleaned regularly, and we have a cleaning staff that comes every 3 weeks. Jesus, Jess suffers from some sort of “must-clean-the-floor” ailment where she regularly freaks out about a seemingly clean floor and proceeds to vacuum or Swiffer the offending surface throughly. We’re clean, I swear! AHHHH!! I don’t think we’re dirty, but after seeing all those ants, I’ll be damned if I don’t feel itchy.

Stupid ants.